Oh wait, I think I found it.
Yep, there it is:
Oh and here's the rest:
Funny story, as I was typing that my daughter found me hiding in the kitchen typing that sentence, grabbed my hand and pulled me to follow. I let her lead me away, of course, just barely being able to grab my mug of coffee and shut the laptop as we made our way to the book nook to read (silly me for thinking she would be happy reading alone for a few minutes - we called it "independent reading" at school, its good for her!). Here I am 6 hours later trying to ignore the dishes, laundry, Spanish workbook and squat rack all equally calling my name, grateful for a sleeping infant next to me with his little feet on my lap, while I try to type out a few more sentences before hurricane Camila opens her pretty little eyes.
I love this life. Im lucky as hell - I know that. I am so grateful to be able stay home with these two perfect little babies. Theres no better way to "lose" my time.
So it's been 2 months since Joaquín shook up our family and life already feels normal again (mostly)! Here's an update on the first 2 months of this little guys' life:
Family adjustment:
This little dude wraps us tighter and tighter around his finger every day. With Camila, my obsession and bond was instant. With Joaquín, it wasn't as intense in the beginning, but its gotten more and more intense every day and we are just OBSESSED with him now. ❤️Its interesting, in the very beginning, I LOVED him in a raw, motherly way. But in a lot of ways I was struggling with not being able to give my baby Camila the same 24/7 doting attention that I could before, and I cried a lot about that. I had this wrinkly, swollen little nugget baby to care for also now. But as my love and obsession for him grew, so did my realization that I had so much room in my heart for them both and I learned how to balance each of their needs. Well, of course I'm still learning that and it will continue to evolve, but at least now I know that I CAN.
And Camila LOVES him. Seriously - that part of the transition couldn't be more perfect.
Sometimes she loves him TOO much (laying on him, lovingly head butting him, you know...). At first she didn't seem to have any jealousy issues but now that he's 2 (almost 3) months old and the newness has worn off, I think she's starting to have some issues. The other day when I was feeding him she came up to me and started pulling on his arm, wagging her little finger at me saying, "no mama, no!" Whenever I put him in the Ergo to sooth him while I get stuff done, she cries and reaches, wanting to be carried instead of him. Its a little challenging and we just have to be very aware of giving her equal "baby" time - she is still a baby after all.
What's also pretty awesome is that Camila plays "mama" like a champ. She feeds her baby doll, nurses it, rocks it to sleep, swaddled it, everything she sees us do. It's ADORABLE.
Things are definitely a lot harder with a toddler and a baby! Camila just has so much energy that just lounging around the house playing while I get stuff done lasts maybe 20 minutes. In chunks. And usually she makes more of a mess in the process, making whatever I "got done" pretty obsolete. Like using bathtub crayons to draw on the toilet while I fold laundry. Or pulling out everything from the diaper bag and spreading it around the living room while I clean up from breakfast, one foot bouncing the baby. So we get out of the house a lot during the day! But we have made lots of friends through the Moms Group I am a part of so that piece is fantastic. We always have someone to hang out with and Camila is getting awesome social interaction with her many little friends!
Another interesting change is Donovan and I cherish our time together so much more. Its hard to connect when you are each wrangling a young child, and we value our time together after the kids go to bed so much more! Im definitely impressed with how well we team work these two. Our routine right now is that we bathe them together - Camila loves getting in his baby bathtub with him (and pulling his baby boy parts...we are working on that) and he LOVES the warm water. I usually get J out and dressed while he brushes C's teeth and dresses her. Then I nurse Camila while Donovan spends some time with J, then we switch again and Donovan reads to C and puts her to bed while I nurse J and rock him to sleep. It works really well for now, but Camila is going through a horrid 18 month sleep regression right now so putting her to bed takes a little longer than it used to.
And even though things are a lot busier and harder with this duo, somehow it all just works. I thought I would need a lot more help in the beginning but we found that Joaquín slipped right in perfectly and the train just kept moving.
So remember how this blog is called "Staying Fit With Baby B: Pregnancy and BEYOND"? Yea that 'beyond' part...Ive basically been pregnant for 2 years so we've definitely arrived at 'beyond' and its a struggle, physically and mentally. 2 years of pregnancy hormones and changing physical abilities have turned my muscles into mush. When I got pregnant with Camila I was squatting 135 regularly, which is the squat bar with (2) 45b plates on either side, and was still working up. Donovan and I just started a program called 5x5, which is a 3x a week intense strength building workout where you add 5 lbs literally every workout. I had to start this program squatting 35 lbs TOTAL (only 100 more to go!...). Blow to my ego like woah. Its not just about my strength, but the pelvic issue Id been having is still sensitive so whatever I do I need to take it slooooow so my body can strengthen EVERYwhere. 2 babies in 2 years requires some postpartum body love for sure. :)
Finding time to workout has been tricky, but its working. Currently we both workout at home in the basement while Camila plays in her playroom and watches her music videos on the TV. We take turns entertaining her or checking on her in between sets. Joaquín is usually sleeping or in a bouncy chair, again getting bounced in between sets. When he is 12 weeks old (which is about now) he can go to the Gold's gym daycare, so we will slowly fit that back into the schedule also. Its easy to workout at home but the atmosphere in the gym is motivating, and we (slash I) could use some time without juggling two babies :)
So while I am really working on gaining strength, this funny little hormone called prolactin (responsible for making milk...oh and also holding on to fat in case of a famine. THANKS PROLACTIN. Its 2015, get with the times) makes it hard to build muscle. So while I am eating a ton to try and help my body build muscle while also nursing, Im not sure how much Ill be able to do. Prolactin levels take a dip between 4-6 months postpartum, so Ill wait until then to really evaluate my progress.
So I have to dip into the body image piece, because its a huge part of this story and a part I don't want to forget. I got stretch marks this pregnancy, but not until AFTER J was born. Weird huh? And guess what - I don't care AT ALL. Im proud of myself for feeling that way. Honestly I kind of feel like I earned them. That delivery was rough and now I have a natural tattoo reminding me of how amazing my body is. The thing that Im struggling a bit with is my weight, which is still 20 lbs above where I started (yea I gained 40lbs and some change during both pregnancies). Im not doing anything to try and lose that extra fat right now because that would compete with my goal of gaining muscle (thats something I need to remind myself of when Im sliding on those maternity jeans after not being able to get my regular pants past my thigh). After Camila was born, my weight plummeted back to pre-baby weight when she was 5 months old (thank prolactin...for real this time) so I am hoping for the same this time. **waiting patiently**
But even though Im self-conscious of the extra baggage Im carrying around, I am handling it SO MUCH DIFFERENTLY than the old me would have. We went to an indoor pool recently with some mom friends and I wondered if I would feel comfortable wearing my bikini, my only bathing suit, or if I should buy a new one. My first thought, not my second or third, or a thought I had to force myself to think, my FIRST and NATURAL thought, was "hell yea I can wear my bikini. Im not going to cover up my stretch marks and muffin top JUST to hide them. Tankinis are cute and if I want one because I like it, than great. But Im not going to buy one IN ORDER TO cover myself up - Im proud of my body in so many ways, and I want my daughter to see that."
BAM.
Thank you Camila - being your mom has made me stronger in more ways than you know. And thank you Joaquín, for truly challenging my body's strength like 45lb plates never could.
(By the way, this blog took me at least 2 weeks to write. You're welcome.)
Another interesting change is Donovan and I cherish our time together so much more. Its hard to connect when you are each wrangling a young child, and we value our time together after the kids go to bed so much more! Im definitely impressed with how well we team work these two. Our routine right now is that we bathe them together - Camila loves getting in his baby bathtub with him (and pulling his baby boy parts...we are working on that) and he LOVES the warm water. I usually get J out and dressed while he brushes C's teeth and dresses her. Then I nurse Camila while Donovan spends some time with J, then we switch again and Donovan reads to C and puts her to bed while I nurse J and rock him to sleep. It works really well for now, but Camila is going through a horrid 18 month sleep regression right now so putting her to bed takes a little longer than it used to.
Joaquín updates
- He's AWESOME. I realize it more every day.
- He's the strongest baby in the world. He can hold his head up like a boss.
- He's nowhere near being consistent with his naps - sometimes he hardly sleeps all day, other days he sleeps the ENTIRE day...but nighttime is pretty predictable. His longest stretch is anywhere from 4-6 hours and lately (lately...things change...) he's been ready to go down for the night at 8, same as Camila. We love that!
- He's already stretching his 3-6 month clothes **tear**
- He's the handsomest boy in all the land.
- His little fists of fury make my heart melt.
- When he talks he sounds like a little seal.
- He smiles when you circle his mouth with your finger.
- He looks like his mama :)
Postpartum (operation: squat 135)
So remember how this blog is called "Staying Fit With Baby B: Pregnancy and BEYOND"? Yea that 'beyond' part...Ive basically been pregnant for 2 years so we've definitely arrived at 'beyond' and its a struggle, physically and mentally. 2 years of pregnancy hormones and changing physical abilities have turned my muscles into mush. When I got pregnant with Camila I was squatting 135 regularly, which is the squat bar with (2) 45b plates on either side, and was still working up. Donovan and I just started a program called 5x5, which is a 3x a week intense strength building workout where you add 5 lbs literally every workout. I had to start this program squatting 35 lbs TOTAL (only 100 more to go!...). Blow to my ego like woah. Its not just about my strength, but the pelvic issue Id been having is still sensitive so whatever I do I need to take it slooooow so my body can strengthen EVERYwhere. 2 babies in 2 years requires some postpartum body love for sure. :)
Finding time to workout has been tricky, but its working. Currently we both workout at home in the basement while Camila plays in her playroom and watches her music videos on the TV. We take turns entertaining her or checking on her in between sets. Joaquín is usually sleeping or in a bouncy chair, again getting bounced in between sets. When he is 12 weeks old (which is about now) he can go to the Gold's gym daycare, so we will slowly fit that back into the schedule also. Its easy to workout at home but the atmosphere in the gym is motivating, and we (slash I) could use some time without juggling two babies :)
So while I am really working on gaining strength, this funny little hormone called prolactin (responsible for making milk...oh and also holding on to fat in case of a famine. THANKS PROLACTIN. Its 2015, get with the times) makes it hard to build muscle. So while I am eating a ton to try and help my body build muscle while also nursing, Im not sure how much Ill be able to do. Prolactin levels take a dip between 4-6 months postpartum, so Ill wait until then to really evaluate my progress.
So I have to dip into the body image piece, because its a huge part of this story and a part I don't want to forget. I got stretch marks this pregnancy, but not until AFTER J was born. Weird huh? And guess what - I don't care AT ALL. Im proud of myself for feeling that way. Honestly I kind of feel like I earned them. That delivery was rough and now I have a natural tattoo reminding me of how amazing my body is. The thing that Im struggling a bit with is my weight, which is still 20 lbs above where I started (yea I gained 40lbs and some change during both pregnancies). Im not doing anything to try and lose that extra fat right now because that would compete with my goal of gaining muscle (thats something I need to remind myself of when Im sliding on those maternity jeans after not being able to get my regular pants past my thigh). After Camila was born, my weight plummeted back to pre-baby weight when she was 5 months old (thank prolactin...for real this time) so I am hoping for the same this time. **waiting patiently**
But even though Im self-conscious of the extra baggage Im carrying around, I am handling it SO MUCH DIFFERENTLY than the old me would have. We went to an indoor pool recently with some mom friends and I wondered if I would feel comfortable wearing my bikini, my only bathing suit, or if I should buy a new one. My first thought, not my second or third, or a thought I had to force myself to think, my FIRST and NATURAL thought, was "hell yea I can wear my bikini. Im not going to cover up my stretch marks and muffin top JUST to hide them. Tankinis are cute and if I want one because I like it, than great. But Im not going to buy one IN ORDER TO cover myself up - Im proud of my body in so many ways, and I want my daughter to see that."
BAM.
Thank you Camila - being your mom has made me stronger in more ways than you know. And thank you Joaquín, for truly challenging my body's strength like 45lb plates never could.
(By the way, this blog took me at least 2 weeks to write. You're welcome.)
